Is there a position that you are the most comfortable with at the urinal? The most simple one obviously is just standing. But there are many more positions that you pick up on when you go to a baseball game, at a bar or club, or just at a pit stop on the highway.
When I first started noticing these hilarious positions, I was coming back from Five-Star basketball camp. It was a great camp, but the road trip home was even greater. We had to make a pit stop coming back from Pennsylvania. I was only 15 at the time if I remember correctly, but we went into the bathroom on the side of the highway. When we came out, of all people, my grandfather asks me,
“Did you see that guy at the urinal?”
“No,” I replied.
“He had the right hand on hip going,” my grandfather came back at me with.
I obviously had no idea what he was talking about. But since that encounter, I’ve known what he was talking about. Men normally have a personal preference to what their bathroom stance is. I’ll explain.
Hand on the hip: This is the average stance that everyone has used at least once in their life. It’s as simple as it sounds. The hand not being used is placed on the hip. Now, if you want to get a little more creative, you put your wrist on the hip – sometimes called the Old Man’s Stance.
One hand on the wall: This one is a classic. Normally if you need some help standing while your at the urinal, this one is for you. All you do is you put the hand that is not being used on the wall. This stance normally comes with a sigh of relief…maybe because you have been holding it in for too long, or just really have to go.
Put Your Hand Where I Can See Them!: This stance is similar to the one hand on the wall, only here both hands are on the wall. This looks like the police have caught you and they put you up against the wall, hence the name.
Superman: This one is my favorite to see. It takes a lot of control on the part of the user. Just like Superman did, you put your hands in a fist and put them on your hips, being a proud individual that you are at that urinal.
Obviously there are many more. I thank my grandfather for the wisdom and creativity of coming up with names of positions for someone going to the bathroom.
Have you seen any of them? Let’s hear them!!